Greetings all :o) This month, I have as my guest, a newer addition to the VC family, Twilight..Twilight has been involved with the VC for almost 6 months, and was accepted as a member in the middle of April, 2003, and has continued to be very active within the community. Twilight has alot to offer by way of information on vampirism and different tips and techniques, plus she is a counsellor, which means she is a great listener and advisor. Twilight can be reached via e-mail on harley_girl_65@yahoo.com..Enjoy her interview :o)

Silver: Greetings Twilight, thank you for joining me as my guest this eve :o)

Twilight: Thank you Silver, it's a pleasure to be here.

Silver: Right..Would you indulge us with a little background information on yourself?

Twilight: Sure... I'm a 37 year old psi/elemental vampire living in Colorado. I'm also a negative psi-feeder, meaning my primary source is free-floating negative emotional energies generated by other people, however, I also draw my energies through various neutral elemental and environmental sources.

Silver: That's excellent At about what point in your life did you discover you were a vampire?

Twilight: Although my awakening began during a period of soul-searching in my early to mid-20's, it wasn't until just over a year ago that I discovered real vampires, and made that connection for myself. Since then my awakening has progressed much more smoothly... I say "awakening" because I don't believe the process of growth ever really stops for us.

Silver: Right, neither do I..I have always said it was an ongiong process, that is with us for life..So, to say one is "fully awakened" I believe, is not correct, because as you say, it is ongoing..Would you like to tell us a bit about your awakening, and how it affected you? And how it still affects you?

Twilight: Certainly... Once the process really took off, I started to make connections between certain tendencies and abilities I had always had, but wasn't really aware of and didn't know how to use. I had the very good fortune to become a student of a Pima Apache shaman, who was able to help me open my mind to experiences that otherwise made little sense to me. While that was a wonderful time of learning, it did have a negative impact on my personal relationships for a time. I discovered that growth and change don't always come easily or without pain, but that has shaped the way I look at things now. Coming to terms with being a negative feeder has been difficult as well, and it's only been through my own set of moral values that I'm able to draw those energies without causing damage to those around me. And I still seek out mentors and leaders in the community from whom I can learn, because as we mentioned, the process never really ends.

Silver: It's interesting that you mentioned that it has had a negative impact on your personal relationship/s..I have also experienced the same thing when I became aware that I was awakening, and I have known countless others who have also experienced such an upheaval in their lives for the same reason..You stated that you had the aid of a shaman to help you on your way. Was he aware of your vampirism as well, and if so, how did he react to it?

Twilight: I believe that he was attuned to certain energies and tendencies I had, but I don't believe he equated them with vampirism, and didn't take that approach in what he taught me. However the process of opening my mind to various psychic elements and his teachings of magic and ritual were very beneficial to me. I don't believe that ritual is part of vampirism in any way as vampirism is a physical condition, but having some grasp of the psychic aspects of it have been extremely helpful.

Silver: Sure :o) I have always believed that people are pre disposed to being able to draw psi energies to them, and to be able to sense, and make use of energy around them..I believe everyone has a sixth sense, but that some people never really make much use of it, or even do not realise that they do use it frequently..I wanted to ask you about negative energies which you tend to draw and make use of..Out of all the various energies out there, how did you come to prefer negative energies? Was it that you feel for you, they are longer lasting, or perhaps stronger?

Twilight: OK, well, to start with, the negative energies that I feed from primarily, tend to be those emotions like stress, anxiety, anger and fear. The stronger the emotion, the more powerful of course, and the easier to draw upon. I don't know that it was ever really a matter of preference for me, more a pre disposed polarity. I tend to be drawn to situations in which those emotions will be present, both in personal and professional situations. The trick for me, is to separate the emotion from the energy, so that the beneficial effects of the energy are had without taking in the negative emotions themselves. That has been a real challenge, and I'm very grateful for the help I've had in that regard. Also, feeding from those emotional energies seems to provide a better, more stable energy for me and I don't have the need to draw as often.

Silver: I can bet it has been..Speaking from my own experiences, to me, those kinds of energies weigh very heavily, and make me feel bogged down, so I am assuming, you must be "sifting" out what you need from what you don't - where then, does that which you don't require, go? Are you able to somehow let it roll off you, so to speak? Or do you maybe make use of it some other way?

Twilight: I make use of shields in all situations, and in those instances when that isn't as effective as I need it to be, I also find outlets for the energies I can't make use of. Sometimes these are stones and crystals, and other times I use a process of visualization to "dump" the energies I don't need. And yes, you're right, emotional energies are very powerful.

Silver: Yes they surely can be..Being an empath, I am able to feel everything..Sometimes that's very hard to deal with, especially depending what time of the month it is, moon phase-wise, and women's time-wise..That is, it is harder to shield out unwanted energies from affecting me..What does it make you feel like if you, say, grab positive energies? Or neutral energies?

Twilight: Neutral energies, like those found in the earth's elements are quite comfortable for me, and in fact I use them when I'm not able to draw from emotional situations. They are also a wonderful source of centering and grounding. I find that positive emotional energies, while they "feel good" just as they do for most of us, are very uncomfortable to feed from. They leave me feeling somewhat nauseous and lightheaded, "spacy" and just not myself.

Silver: That's interesting that you put it like that :o) Earlier, you described something you called "free floating negative emotional energies"..Could you explain exactly what this is, and maybe give us an example of how these energies may be found and absorbed?

Twilight: Absolutely... I use the term free-floating to describe ambient energies that you'd feel in a situation where there's a lot of tension or what have you. It's very important to me to distinguish between the energies that are already present, and energies that would be created or aggravated by an interaction with the situation. That's one of my ethical points and is what allows me to use the energies without creating difficulty for the people around me. The process of absorbing those energies is much like what I imagine it would be for any psi-feeder, the particular tools I use are filtering through my shields and heavy visualization... It's become second-nature to visualize at this point.

Silver: Well,visualisation is very important, otherwise it would be difficult to tap into something you could not see or feel..Detection would be almost impossible as would grabbing them up and making use, I'd imagine..Are there any activities that help you become more at ease within yourself, when your vampirism attempts to take a turn for the worse, or do you find that you are never really without a source?

Twilight: Because I have the ability to feed from elemental energies as well as emotional ones, it's rare that I'm completely without a source. However, there are times when the energy simply isn't as strong, and also times when it's almost too strong. In those instances I find that meditating is helpful to me. I also write or work on my jewelry at those times, when I'm able, as I find that having a creative outlet is very good for focus.

Silver: Are there any times during the month, that you find yourself using more energy than you are taking in?

Twilight: Yes, there are... as you mentioned, women's cycles seem to have an affect. Although I no longer have actual cycles per se, I still have the hormonal flux and it does seem that it affects my ability to take in energies, and I also seem to need more at those points. Moon phases and weather patterns are beginning to have a similar effect, and I theorize that aging may have something to do with that, though I'm not completely certain.

Silver: I agree completely and I do think also that age figures into the spectrum here, as well..Ok, I would like to take this a bit of a different direction now..What do you hope to see in the future of the vampire community?

Twilight: Well, lately we've been seeing an effort between various elements of the community to co-operate with one another, and I think that's really wonderful. I'd love to be able to help that along in any way possible. I think respecting one another is key there, and I hope that's something that becomes more common among us.

Silver: Do you think personally, that there is anything else you/we could be doing for this community, that you/we are not currently doing? And what?

Twilight: Well, I think that in general it's sometimes difficult to view the community from a larger perspective, and that's something I have to make a conscious effort to do. But organizations such as the Vampire Church set a positive example, I believe, and by contributing to this organization in whatever way I can, I hope it will be of benefit to the community at large.

Silver: Well, I believe it would be, because you have over 1400 individuals just on the e-list alone, and how many of them are involved within several other organisations, and on other e-lists? So surely they will take away something of value within this organisation, and share that out with others along the way..How has working within the Vampire Church helped you within your own vampirism?

Twilight: It has been a wonderful opportunity for me to meet so many with experiences I can learn from, and the willingness to mentor that I find to be common within the VC is an incredibly valuable resource.

Silver: Yes I agree.. I think it's excellent that we are able to offer so many different resources to the many, which they can access free of charge..Ok, I have one last question for you..How would you advise other people who seek help, but are too firmly rooted within the vampire myth or lifestyle?

Twilight: That's a tough area... I think what we have to do is continue to emphasize vampirism as a physical condition and let those who want to learn, know that we don't associate it with any belief system or path. I think that for those who are sincere about growth and learning, they will come to understand that it isn't a lifestyle, it's just our lives.

Silver: That's a great answer, and one which I fully agree with..Twilight, it has been a real pleasure speaking with you..Again, thanks very much for your time :o)

Twilight: Thank you Silver, it's been a pleasure. :o)

Silver's Final Thoughts ~

Greetings..

I have seen people talking alot lately on wanting to pull the vampire community closer towards unity..This has been the topic of many conversations over the years, and it is generally felt, that as long as everyone affords everyone else the right to think whatever they want, that we would all get along better..The thing is, if those ideals are unrealistic, such as promoting vampirism as a religion/belief, or lifestyle, then we are not all of one mind, and unity cannot take place..These are some reasons why there is always so much in-fighting, because everyone sees things so differently..Vampirism is a condition..It's not something that can be summed up by how you dress, or who you hang out with, what e-list you happen to be on, or what organisations you are a part of..It is part of your health..Period..This is what we ALL need to be concentrating on..This is what we should be trying to educate people on..This is what we could be teaching each other, and learning from each other..Personal beliefs are important, but they no more have anything to do with vampirism, than red does with green..Neither does how you dress convey that you have this condition..By being truthful, doing some real digging, some major dues listening, lots of sharing, and leaving the go in the trashcan by the door, this is where unity can begin to grow, and get a foothold..I would like to share a quote that I believe can sum all this up nicely, and hope each of you out there will take the true meaning of it within you, and start making this community a better one, for the good of all..

"The person who removes a mountain begins by carrying away small stones"..

- Anonymous

That's all it is..Remove one stone of discord, another of chaos, another of ego, etc, and pretty soon, the path becomes clear, and easy for all to walk, who belong on it :o) Best wishes for the upcoming solstice..

Dark Blessings~

Silver

Edited by Silver

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